Yes ladies I'm back and with wilder topics.
My first topic is how do you or do you tell your friend she can do much better with her life?
I've learned in past situations that no matter how you may try to help some one else they have to want to help themselves! We as woman have the intentions of helping a friend and in the end we lose the friendship. You can't judge any ones relationship because you don't really know the standards by which they live by!Some woman have such low self esteem that they believe that they should be mistreated and abused . Then there are the strong woman who know " If he put his hands on me..." well you fill in the blank..lol But who are you to judge which relationship is right! As long as your friend or love one is happy shouldn't that be the only thing that matters? Now i know you're saying, " if it we're you're family member would you be saying the same thing? We'll I really don't know! You see i would want to help but what good would my help do if he/she runs back to the same thing?? Think about it! Do you believe that people who judge other people are unhappy with there own life and don't want to see anyone else happy??
I don't know You tell me guys?
Until next time!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ain't that the truth! You know how many times I have asked.. Why are they even together? With the friends whose relationships seem like complete disasters! As women we sit on the phone or over lunch and dish about all the messed up stuff our man has done, all the things he does to get on our nerves, how unhappy we are. But then we stay in these relationships for years and years! 1st, not all women are capable of being alone. Having a self-fulfilling relationship with themselves..some women wanna say they have a man because they feel it validates them..smh.. and we want to be a good friend and hate this dude but no!!!! there are things that go on inside of this relationship that you are not privy to. You have no idea what she's doing that is causing her own turmoil! So mind ur beeswax if she likes it. I love it:-) Judging is a human characteristic we all make judgments about our friends relationship or lack there of. I don't think that judging other people's relationship makes u unhappy with ur own life however, I do think that taking on someone else's problems will make u unhappy..so once again. Mind ur beeswax if you get tired of hearing them gripe about the same shit, politely hang up the phone!!!lol
ReplyDeleteSometimes that's easier said then done! When this is a situation that involves a love one you tend to try to be the savior. You try to force them to open their eyes and say F!@# it when they don't listen to your advise! But when they call crying your back at square one! I understand that's apart of friendship but how long is too long and how much is too much! Do you lose a friend because you can't save them? Or do you continue to be that shoulder to cry on and wait for the next time she /he gets their ass kicked?? Idk!!!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe we need to take this to aim.. :-) Women is abusive relationships get out for two reasons. #1 They get tired #2 It becomes too late.. There is nothing anyone man, woman, friend or child can do to change someone else's mind about their situation. I am speaking from experience my mom was ina physically abusive relationship for ten years, I removed myself from the situation because it was too much for me to bare, cause I couldn't understand it, and she wasn't leaving permanently. If that is what it takes with a friend then you have to do that too. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation. I understand wanting to be the savior. I have an invisible S on my chest. However I have been in these situations enough to know you can't save anyone unless they want to save themselves.
ReplyDeleteJUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGE! Relationships are just like life, chosen. No you can't look at someone else's anything until you check yourself first. what's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander. Wisdom connotes that we govern ourselves accordingly, what does that mean. Love, simply love, see life through the eyes of God.
ReplyDeleteno we don't all pick perfect matches, we give chances, we have low self esteem, we are needy, bitchy, selfish, pompous,and egotestical but it is what it is. Yes, say what you have to say to your girlfriend because you love her, not because you have become judge or jury. All you can do is say it because you want the best not because you think you know what is best. We choose our situations, so we have to choose to get out of them or over them. I happen to be very selfish and believe my welfare is paramount!!! Choose life it's the only way to live. peace be unto you,
I totally agree nenna. But, you know what...a lesson that I am still learning is that sometimes you have to let someone people fall off the cliff so they know not to run off that cliff a second time. I was one of those people who really used to be in worthless relationships and others would tell me and I would not listen. I had to go through a few rough times in my life, especially with relationships because I simply would not listen. I had to fall off the cliff a couple of times, until I was able to learn from previous mistakes and not do the same thing again.But, now that I have learned from my past mistakes, and I am still learning more as I grow up. I see someone of my friends going through the same situations I went through, and yet I warn them and give them advice when they come to me, but yet they continue to all themselves to be mistreated, disrespected, etc. All I can do is empathize and be there for them when the sh*t hits the fan.When the dust clears, guess what...their family and friends are still goin to be there for them.
ReplyDeleteBut, another component to that is that you have to recognize your friends from your haters. Haters want to see you fall, want to see your relationship fail, want to see you miserable, etc. These are the type of people that you need to stay away from. These are the type of people that judge you and make false accusations.
However, your friends are here to help you. They, on the other hand, want to see you succeed, want to see you happy, and want to see your relationship prosper. These are the type of people I keep close to my heart. I also had to learn that I do not need 15 or so "friends." I only need about three or four in my life.
Be careful who you get your advice from, because depending on what you listen to, that could either make or break you.